Elizabeth Berg (one of my favorite fiction authors) wrote a book titled "The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted". It's a collection of short stories, one of them about a woman who decided one day to just eat anything and everything she wanted in one day and the freedom she felt. I guess this post should be titled "The Fall I Ate Anything and Everything I Wanted". Because that pretty much sums up what I've been doing.
I did not consciously fall off of the auto immune Paleo diet. I just started slipping. I was going fairly strong in August and the first part of September. Then fall started settling in and I started to crave fall comfort food. So it became a "just this once" mentality and then back on the protocol. And then it seemed like an endless stream of various events and parties that served only food I wasn't eating and my mantra became "well if you can't beat them, join them". It was still smaller things at first (which honestly are big things if looked at from a healing point of view). A couple pieces of candy that was purchased for Trick or Treaters at Halloween. Some questionable restaurant food that I didn't even bother to ask the ingredients because I figured what I didn't know wouldn't hurt me (also known as denial). I stopped drinking bone broth because I honestly just didn't want it anymore. The kale that I planted in our garden was flourishing, but every time I cut some off to fix it seemed to grow bigger. I couldn't seem to keep up with it. And I honestly just couldn't eat anymore kale. I'm ashamed to say the first frost came and killed off the rest of the plant. Yes, I wasted and killed a perfectly good kale plant. There are AIP eaters out there that will groan at this because organic kale is not cheap at the store. And I had it for free.
Then Thanksgiving came and we had three separate dinners, which included sampling everything because I had to make sure everything was edible, of course. This week-end was my granddaughter's birthday party and we had an early Christmas gathering for our kids/grandkids, which included things I have not eaten for almost a year. Things like pizza, rich dips, cheesy potatoes and several kinds of baked goods. I also drank pop. Real pop that was loaded with sugar to go with the baked goods
So that's it. It's now December 8th. It would be so easy to just stay in this "whatever" mode until the first of the year. Because after all it's the holidays. I have homemade turtles and toffee to make to give away. There are going to be so many goodies to eat in the next few weeks. Including two family Christmas Eve gatherings (we are talking some awesome food served at both including my sister in law's amazing enchiladas). And doesn't everyone start fresh on New Years anyway?
But, the truth is I can't wait until the holidays are over. And this last New Year is when I resolved to begin healing my body using food as medicine. I made through more than half the year (with the exception of the frozen custard episode) before starting the slow decline into my old eating habits. There is just no point in beating myself up now. My body is doing that for me anyway. I have gained about 8-10 lbs. My joints feels stiff and achy, I have bouts of acid reflux and my brain fog is in full force. Working out is a huge effort, not a part of my routine anymore. And my digestive system is not at all happy that I have, once again, chosen to torture myself. I feel bloated and sick and I am not sleeping well at night.
So I am wrapping my mind around getting back on track. And this is truly a mental thing. Mentally seeing myself healing through food is what got me through the first tough months of this protocol. And it's what is going to get me back. If there was any doubt that food was causing at least some of my issues, it's no longer a question. My body is almost begging me to get back on track. And yes, I'm not looking forward to going through the detox phase again. Getting the sugar, gluten and Lord knows what else out of my system. But, hopefully, it will remind me that I don't need to go through detox ever again if I just don't ingest things that my body needs to miserably be weaned from.
Once again. Here we go.
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