I love making New Year resolutions. I love the fresh hope each new year brings. And even if I don't completely stick to each one, I feel like my life is always a little bit better by at least trying to apply them. Eat better, read the Bible more, work on relationships, exercise more, etc. Pretty much the standard resolutions. But I actually get excited writing them out.
This year, it's going to be a little bit different. And there will not be any going back once I get started.
About ten years ago, I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis or RA. The first time I ever heard of RA was when my dad was diagnosed with it in 1985 at age 58. At that time, I just assumed he had some kind of "arthritis" that effected most older people. My dad was very athletic in his youth, and I figured it had caught up with his body (whatever that means). In fact, there was not a lot of information about RA back in 1985 and I think even the doctors were not sure how to treat it.
But RA is an autoimmune disease, just like Lupus, Crohns Disease, Multiple Sclerosis, and many other autoimmune disorders. Basically, your immune system is designed to attack any "foreign" things in your body like infections or viruses. But with autoimmune diseases, there is confusion and your body ends up attacking itself. With Crohns, it attacks your digestion. With psoriasis, it attacks healthy skin tissue, with MS it attacks your nerves. And with RA, it attacks your joints and muscles.
It's obviously much more complicated than that, but I don't want to get too in-depth medically. But I do want to describe what it's like to have RA. Hopefully to help people understand, in case they know someone with an autoimmune disorder. And also, to hopefully give encouragement to those who are suffering. Because this blog is my journey of trying to heal myself through a complete lifestyle change.
The first symptom I got was a lot of pain and stiffness in one of my shoulders. One night I found that I couldn't even lift my arm. I thought maybe I had injured myself, but could not figure out what I did. The pain kept me up all night, but then it pretty much went away later the next day. I didn't think anything of it after that. But then on another day, my other shoulder did the same thing. Pretty soon, the pain and stiffness began to "move around" to different joints. My fingers would feel like they were jammed all the time. My jaw would swell, keeping me from being able to fully close my mouth. I learned that these were "flares". Usually a flare would be accompanied by a low grade fever and just a general "blah" feeling all over as my body was fighting off what it thought was something foreign.
I went to the doctor and was told it was "some kind of arthritis" and was given Vicodin for the pain. One day, I had a flare in my hip joint that was so bad I cried the entire night from the pain. Even Vicodin didn't take the edge off. My doctor ordered an MRI, but it only showed inflammation, so I was sent home again with more pain killers. Finally, my family doctor sent me to a rheumatologist. Through blood tests (and family history) he diagnosed me with RA.
It took two years to finally be diagnosed. The rheumatologist started me on a low dose chemo drug called Methotrexate (or MTX). This drug takes 6 weeks to get into your system. It wreaks havoc on your stomach and causes your hair to fall out by the handful. I was told I would be on it the rest of my life. The MTX seemed to lessen the intensity of the flares, but I was still having them. So the doctor switched me to injections rather than pills. And in 2006, he added a biological drug called Humira.
Humira changed my life. My hands no longer hurt and my overall stiffness was almost completely gone. I felt like I got my life back! For six years, I did well on the combination of MTX and Humira. I didn't care that I had to give myself two shots every week, I was mobile and pain free!
But then the Humira started to wear off. I had a couple of small flares. I was tired all the time. Then I suddenly developed a terrible rash on my legs that was diagnosed as psoriasis. I was told that the Humira (which is also given to patients with psoriasis) had actually GIVEN me the psoriasis. This made absolutely no sense to me, and still doesn't. In doing research, I found this is not uncommon. My sister has Crohn's disease and she took a drug called Remicade that gave her Lupus.
So I was switched from Humira to Enbrel and from MTX to Arava in 2012. The Enbrel worked great. For about a year. Then in early 2013 I had a couple small flares. And realized one day that the toes on my right foot were going numb. Since one of the side effects of Enbrel can be multiple sclerosis, I told my rheumatologist I want off of it. In December 2013 I started on Orencia.
Which brings me to today. The Orencia is not working. I've been pretty much flaring all month. And if you Google the side effects of Orencia, it's extremely scary because one of the many listed there is a high risk of cancer.
It's then I started reading up on autoimmune diseases and how many people have been able to go into remission or even cured themselves by completely changing their way of eating. One of the theories is that many people with autoimmune diseases suffer from a "leaky gut". Their digestive systems get messed up (do you like my technical term?) from years of processed food, stress, taking too many non-steroidal drugs (such as Ibuprofen) or just from food allergies they are not even aware that they have. Because their digestive systems don't work properly, foreign antibodies "leak" into their blood streams and their immune system go on the attack to get rid of them.
The only way to change this is to heal the gut. By eliminating anything damaging and feeding it only "good" foods, allowing it to heal itself. And the elimination list is very lengthy. We are talking about almost all of the foods I love. No white flour, no sugar, no coffee, no beans, no wheat or gluten of any kind, no dairy, no white potatoes, no tomatoes, no soy, no corn. The list seems endless. Basically, it's eating only organic fruits and vegetables (to avoid any possible GMO or pesticides) and only grass fed beef or chicken (due to the hormones or antibiotics, etc.). It's going to involve some juicing, some drinking herbal teas, drinking healing bone broth and weird things like oil of oregano and slippery elm.
It sounds boring and dreary and impossibly hard. And expensive. I figure my grocery bill will pretty much double with buying organic. My body will probably go through withdrawals from the caffeine, sugar and whatever other toxins I've put into it, especially this holiday season. I have de-toxed my body in the past. It's not fun.
But instead of dreading it, I'm looking forward to 2014. I'm looking forward to putting good things into my body and feeling better. Most of all I'm clinging to the hope that my body will heal itself and I will not long have to take the potent meds with their long, long list of side effects.
I have the full support of my husband on this. He plans to do most of it with me, although he will not be as strict. There will be no cheat days for me. Every step off the plan will be a step backward in healing. Everyone's bodies are different - some have taken three months, others six months, others over a year. So I don't know my timetable yet. Some foods can be gradually added in once my digestion is healed. But I will never again be free to eat any processed foods or be careless about junk food or drink an entire pot of coffee. And I will need to end my love affair with Whiteys ice cream.
However long it takes, it will be worth it. I've tried everything else. I have done most of the drugs that are out there now. I have been prayed over for healing. (Side note - I still believe God can heal. I just think He heals in different ways and this could be mine.) At this point, I really have nothing to lose (but maybe a few pounds). If it doesn't heal me, I will at least be healthier. I'm ready for this huge change. I'm ready to get up in the morning without feeling like I've been hit by a truck. I want to get on the floor and play with my grandchildren without worrying about whether I can get back up without help.
And most of all - I want to see them graduate and get married and have their own babies. This disease took my dad at the young age of 66. It contributed to my brother's death a year and a half ago at age 55. I don't want to be another one of its victims.
So this blog is going to be my documentation of this journey ahead. And everything I'm feeling, craving, overcoming and eating for the next few months. On the outside I plan to talk very little about this. Because, seriously, people will get sick of hearing about it. But this blog will be my way of venting and celebrating. And, if anyone wants to read it - thank you in advance! :)
And tonight is our "last meal" of sorts. So what are we eating? Why, pizza and fried chicken, course!! And maybe one more trip to Whiteys.
